Independence

There is something to be said about independence and the feeling it can bring.

This morning, a Sunday. I'm in my small kitchen. I want a coffee to start the day off. I grab my french press.

An AM ritual begins.

Grab the press.
Fill the kettle.
Turn on the stove.
Get the coffee from the cupboard.
Choose a mug.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
The whistle of the water.
The sizzle against the coffee.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Press.
Ahhh.
Black hits white porcelain.
Mmm...

For some reason, this little ritual represents independence for me. I am alone in my own kitchen. Doing my thing. Uninterrupted. It's quiet. It's calm. I'm doing this for myself and that's all.

Just felt the urge to share my moment.



I've been very absent. Things in life are confusing, but interesting and amazing things are happening. The less I write here, you can assume the better life becomes for me!

Twenty-Something Dependence

When did every person in the twenty-something range become so dependent? Most 20-somethings I know still live at home and their parents are paying for school.

I've been doing my own laundry since I was 12. I got a job when I was 15. I had 2 jobs when I was 16. I've been doing my own grocery shopping since I was 16. Bought a car when I was 17. I moved out of my mother's house when I was 19 years old. Put myself through university from the ages of 19 to 24 by working numerous jobs at a time. I took off to BC at one point and made a load of money. Passed through Edmonton and spent a lot of money. Worked in hotels making beds, serving in restaurants, monitoring in child access centers, truck stops in the mountains, race tracks, as a feminist research assistant, homeless shelters, and as a youth worker for kids with FASD. I was a farm hand for most of my life too.

My life was never easy. I came from a dirt dirt dirt poor family. A family I hardly speak to anymore. I lived on a farm in rural Manitoba. We grew our own food and animals. I grew up working hard- throwing bales and hauling water. I've never been handed anything. I've had to climb the mountains alone while burdened by a heavy pack. It's been hard, but I feel it has also built a strong character in me. I want for very little. But, I dream big and know I need to work harder if I am to get where I want to be.

At the age of 25, I realize that I have been fully independent (emotionally & financially) for the past 10 or so years. It is a great feeling to be your own person and provide for yourself. I don't have to trust anyone else to put food on my plate or a roof over my head.

Maybe if I was more dependent on others I would have more money in savings or be in the position to buy a house/condo. But would I have a feeling of accomplishment? I feel proud that I was able to do everything I achieved in my life thus far on my own. I received help from no one, nor did I ask for help. I feel I can make it through this jungle of life armed with my own tools. I need not borrow any of yours!

I suppose what I have done is not common anymore. People are living at home longer and there is nothing wrong with it if the family feels comfortable with the decision. More power to you I suppose. But, it is not for me. It never was for me. I am a bit bitter, I admit it. I've had to work for everything while others just receive and breeze through this life. I can't say whether it is fair or not, but it is life.

This topic has been really getting to me lately. This is a little bit of a rant. Don't feel bad about yourself if you are 20-something and live at home. Like I said, more power to you. It's just not for me. :)

Comment below with your story!