Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Summer Playlist

Over the Past Year, I have been making seasonal playlists. Here is my playlist for Summer:

1. Through & Through & Through- Joel Plaskett
2. In the Sun- She & Him
3. Scar Tissue- Red Hot Chili Peppers
4. Slow Stroke- Greg MacPherson
5. My Only Offer- Mates of State
6. Weighty Ghost- Wintersleep
7. Imaginary Bars- Great Lake Swimmers
8. Bottle of Buckie- Ted Leo & the Pharmacists
9. Paper Gangsta- Lady GaGa
10. Island in the Sun- Weezer
11. The General Specific- Band of Horses
12. Short Skirt, Long Jacket- Cake
13. Lola- The Kinks
14. California Gurls- Katy Perry
15. Alright- Supergrass
16. Pine, Pine, Pine- Joel Plaskett
17. Hard Road- Sam Roberts
18. Un Canadien Errant- Leonard Cohen
19. Calendar Girl- Stars
20. Letter of Resignation- The Weakerthans

What's on your Summer playlist? I'd love to know!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Blockage of Writer's Proportions

This is what writer's block looks like...

Friday, May 21, 2010

Where in the World is JV Winnipeg-o?

I haven't written a real post in awhile. I have been feeling especially useless these days. I could be the +30 degree weather we have been experiencing in the middle of May, or it could be that I really have nothing significant to do. I have been experiencing a total lack of motivation these days. I get up, ride the god awful Winnipeg Transit System, go to work sometimes, come home, once in awhile I will go to the gym. My life has become very boring as of late. All the things I enjoy doing are absent- no gardening this year, no more school, no real job prospects that interest me. My current volunteer position is somewhat less inspiring than I hoped.

I feel... stuck. Stationary, without movement. Where am I going? I don't know. Where do I want to go? Anywhere. What am I doing? Not a whole lot. What do I want to do? No clue. It seems like all those closest to me are moving ahead at this rapid pace- boyfriend has a great job that he is sure to excel at, they love him there, and he just purchased a new car :). My closest friend has secured an amazing full time permanent job with a crown corporation and is looking to buy a condo :). My other great friend is having an amazing summer in the Canadian Shield while working and kayaking :). I'm happy for all of them, and I understand that I am at least 5 years younger than them all, but when is my big break coming around? When will I find that thing I am good at?

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I can't blame anyone else for where I am in life (I could if I really tried, haha). I just have to pay my dues and crawl slowly to the top, or at least the middle- I would be happy with that.

I know what I don't want to do, that is a start. I don't want to work at McDonald's (Starbucks, I could handle). I don't want to work in a homeless shelter (been there, done that). I refuse to work with adolescents (NEVER AGAIN!). Little kids I can tolerate- even enjoy at times. I love doing research- my own or for other people. I like counseling work, but need more experience to get a job (next volunteer project).

Ok, enough complaining. Suck it up and get your ass in gear.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

More Confused Than Ever...

I really feel like I am being pulled in so many directions. I just don't know which way to go or what to do. What I am doing right now is not the greatest option. I need a purpose.

Friday, May 7, 2010


When I tell people that I really want to visit Labrador, they all give me this weird look like I am crazy. They say "there is nothing there", "it is barren", or just a resounding... "WHY?!?!?"

This is why.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Bad things about not having a full time day job...

#2. You have to book off the summer days you want off 3 or more months in advance.

Twenty-Something Dependence

When did every person in the twenty-something range become so dependent? Most 20-somethings I know still live at home and their parents are paying for school.

I've been doing my own laundry since I was 12. I got a job when I was 15. I had 2 jobs when I was 16. I've been doing my own grocery shopping since I was 16. Bought a car when I was 17. I moved out of my mother's house when I was 19 years old. Put myself through university from the ages of 19 to 24 by working numerous jobs at a time. I took off to BC at one point and made a load of money. Passed through Edmonton and spent a lot of money. Worked in hotels making beds, serving in restaurants, monitoring in child access centers, truck stops in the mountains, race tracks, as a feminist research assistant, homeless shelters, and as a youth worker for kids with FASD. I was a farm hand for most of my life too.

My life was never easy. I came from a dirt dirt dirt poor family. A family I hardly speak to anymore. I lived on a farm in rural Manitoba. We grew our own food and animals. I grew up working hard- throwing bales and hauling water. I've never been handed anything. I've had to climb the mountains alone while burdened by a heavy pack. It's been hard, but I feel it has also built a strong character in me. I want for very little. But, I dream big and know I need to work harder if I am to get where I want to be.

At the age of 25, I realize that I have been fully independent (emotionally & financially) for the past 10 or so years. It is a great feeling to be your own person and provide for yourself. I don't have to trust anyone else to put food on my plate or a roof over my head.

Maybe if I was more dependent on others I would have more money in savings or be in the position to buy a house/condo. But would I have a feeling of accomplishment? I feel proud that I was able to do everything I achieved in my life thus far on my own. I received help from no one, nor did I ask for help. I feel I can make it through this jungle of life armed with my own tools. I need not borrow any of yours!

I suppose what I have done is not common anymore. People are living at home longer and there is nothing wrong with it if the family feels comfortable with the decision. More power to you I suppose. But, it is not for me. It never was for me. I am a bit bitter, I admit it. I've had to work for everything while others just receive and breeze through this life. I can't say whether it is fair or not, but it is life.

This topic has been really getting to me lately. This is a little bit of a rant. Don't feel bad about yourself if you are 20-something and live at home. Like I said, more power to you. It's just not for me. :)

Comment below with your story!